Start quote: "DA makes me embarassed. Yes it does, and I'm not talking about my recent uploads or anything, but about stuff in general, there ain't no such thing as Fair Exposure, it's only in their heads. In reality every friggin time I submit something to this artsite I end up feeling completely embarrassed because nobody leaves me any reason to submit, yet I keep uploading and uploading my works here like a fool. Then people get so used to my uploads that I just have to create a new account to feel at least a little less embarrassed, and then a few months later we're at this friggin point again.

Seriously, I'm usually submitting stuff I actually drew 3-4 months ago, so right now I have over 20 works here on my hard disk, I've changed the style recently, I've improved a lot, I'm very proud to look at them, they look so perfect... even more realistic but with a nicer stylish touch... but I know right at the moment I upload them the embarassment will destroy the magic. The submission will clearly show it right in my face that they ain't no masterpieces but clearly just a pile of weird junk. Fair Exposure? Just a disappointment, really.

I'm not trying to say that -nobody- cares. There's the worthy few of those who do care, maybe 10 people out of the 2500+ who watch me now. You'd say, ohoho 2500! Cool. Yeah. But actually no. I think at least 1500 of them are actually just DA-bots, because when you submit something and the 2500 watch you, you'd expect your submission viewed at least 2500 times, right? Not right. You'd barely get a 1000. Normally you'd get 500. So, 500 views from 2500 persons? Even math is against me. If that's not enough to make me feel completely embarrassed then what is? And views... I don't even mention things like faves and omg, comments. My art is so childish, at this point it would be so foolish of me to even dream of any good feedback. *sarcastic grin*

I've been here for 5 years and I learned one thing: there's no Fair Exposure. I keep finding genious pieces with like 10 faves and 5 crappy comments like "lol...so great!!" and even though it's not my work, it makes me almost cry with embarrassment. Yes, this is in no way a cry for my own works in particular, it's for all those who were better born on the Moon or something. Because there are 6,000,000,000 people on Earth and not a single one cares of any other one. I'm lucky though, I've recently learned how to pretty much not share at all, actually in a way it gives more happiness because the magic of your dream does not get destroyed by unacceptance, uncaring, stupidity, etc.

I'm not a stupid person, I'm not a bad person, I'm not uncaring, but I can't keep trying forever. I'm very understanding. Failure means failure. But myself, I still love my art, it's almost a magical ritual that it's possible to turn imagination into something material and then enjoy looking at it, but whenever it reaches this artsite it just turns into another unneeded failure and another embarrassment. Because all the pageviews, faves, awkward one-liners, etc, they're all used to destroy the magic.

The only thing that I'm proud of in my gallery here is the coloring tutorial, probably the only thing that was worth uploading. God, if I feel so horrible I don't even know what people with even so much more UNfair exposure must feel... eek"

/quote from

That's how I feel in a nutshell.